How to Start Your Self Love Journey
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If you haven’t already, now is the time to begin your self love journey. It’s time to recognize your worth, embrace your value, and celebrate the unique person God created you to be. Starting your self love journey is one of the most powerful decisions you can make—because it sets the foundation for healing, growth, and purpose.
Don’t worry, though. You are not alone on this path. I’ve walked through my own self love journey, and now I’m here to cheer you on and walk alongside you as you begin yours.
What Is Self Love?
Self love is more than just liking yourself. It’s knowing your authentic self, understanding your value, and living in the truth that your life matters. It’s realizing that your needs, wants, and desires are not only valid—they are significant.
Your self love journey is rooted in the understanding that you were created for a purpose. It’s learning to see yourself through God’s lens, not the world’s. It’s embracing the truth that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, and that your identity is found in Him.
When we begin to love ourselves, we no longer rely on outside validation to feel worthy. Instead, we become grounded in truth, able to affirm our own value from a place of wholeness.
Why I Started My Self Love Journey
I started my self love journey because I was tired of hating myself.
Years ago, I attended a relationship workshop where everyone was asked to share one quality they were looking for in a future partner. When a guy I had a crush on said he wanted someone confident, I was crushed. I sat there wishing I could be that confident woman but didn’t believe it was even possible for me.
That moment didn’t spark immediate change. For years afterward, I continued living in self-doubt, occasionally trying to make small changes but never following through. I didn’t believe real transformation was available for me.
Everything shifted during a tear-filled night of prayer when I asked God where my husband was. His response stopped me in my tracks: “Are you the woman the type of man you are praying for would be seeking?” That question shook me. And it was the beginning of something new.
I realized I wasn’t living as the woman God created me to be. I had let life, lies, and the opinions of others shape my self-perception. In that quiet moment with God, I made a choice: I didn’t want to live broken and wounded anymore. I asked God to help me heal and show me the truth about who I really was.
Let me be clear: I didn’t start this self love journey to get a husband. I started it because I wanted to live in freedom and wholeness. Marriage was a beautiful by-product, but it was never the goal. This journey was for me. It still is.
Your self love journey is for you too. It never ends, but over time, it becomes more natural—and more powerful.
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Steps for Your Self Love Journey
1. Make a Decision
Everything begins with a decision. You must choose to believe that change is possible and that you are worthy of that change. No one else can do this for you.
This decision has to come from within. Your self love journey is not about becoming someone for another person; it’s about returning to the person God always intended you to be.
Even if marriage is something you desire, don’t let it be the reason you start. Choose this path because you are worth it.
2. Make a Commitment
Commit to yourself that you won’t quit when it gets hard—because it will get hard. Share your self love journey with people you trust so they can pray for you and encourage you.
Remind yourself that you are worthy of follow-through. God doesn’t give up on you—so don’t give up on yourself either.
3. Make a List of the Things You Like About Yourself
This may feel awkward at first (it definitely was for me), but it’s a vital part of your self love journey. Begin listing the things you like or appreciate about yourself. Don’t allow self-criticism to override the process.
This list will grow as you do. Keep adding to it and refer back to it often.
4. Start a Gratitude Journal
Each day, write down something about yourself that you’re grateful for. Say it out loud. Let it sink in.
This is a beautiful habit that helps rewire your thinking and strengthens your self love journey over time. If you can’t think of something new, repeat what you’ve already written until more comes to mind. The repetition is part of the transformation.
5. Get to Know Yourself
Often, we don’t know who we are because we’ve been shaped by other people’s opinions. But they didn’t create us—God did.
As part of your self love journey, spend time with your Creator. Ask Him who you are. Explore what Scripture says about your identity. Reflect on your spiritual gifts, personality, strengths, and values.
Start a running list of the things you discover about yourself. Reflect on what brings you joy and what you’re naturally good at. You are a masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10), so take the time to appreciate the design.
6. Be Kind to Yourself
Give yourself grace as you grow. Your self love journey will include moments of pain, delay, and disappointment. Be kind when healing is slower than expected. Forgive yourself for past mistakes, and let go of the inner critic.
Speak to yourself with the same compassion you would offer a friend.
7. Change Your Dialogue
Negative self-talk must go. Begin to replace every lie with truth. Romans 12:2 tells us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds—that includes how we think and speak about ourselves.
Practice affirmations. Look in the mirror and say positive, truthful statements aloud. It may feel strange at first, but this daily habit is a game-changer in your self love journey.
8. Stop Comparing Yourself
Comparison steals your joy and robs you of contentment. God uniquely designed you. When you compare yourself to others, you’re devaluing the masterpiece He created in you.
Set healthy boundaries with social media. Notice when jealousy rises. And pray through those moments, asking God to help you see yourself clearly.
Your self love journey will become lighter and freer as you learn to embrace who you are without looking sideways.
9. Accept the Journey Isn’t Easy
This path isn’t easy—and that’s okay. It’s full of highs and lows, but the process is beautiful. When you reach the valleys, remember you’re not alone. God is walking with you.
Your self love journey will refine you, but it will not destroy you. If you invite God into your healing, He will do what only He can do—restore, redeem, and rebuild.
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Final Thoughts
Your self love journey is sacred. It’s not selfish—it’s necessary. When you choose to love yourself as God does, you’ll live from a place of identity, purpose, and peace.
Don’t wait for someone else to validate you. You are already loved. You are already enough. Let today be the day you decide to walk this path—with intention, grace, and hope.
I’ll be here cheering you on the whole way.
